foreword:  

All six xmas songs featured here may well seem deliberately 'unfinished'/infused with 'deranged and ingeniously oblique poetic grammar'/ploughed with what might be

termed intimately fascinating 'Slang' and 'idiosyncratic syntax'
.... I have written in excess of 1,800 songs many of which took fewer than fifteen minutes to write.

 

 

Ah, Enhoneying Destractors At New Year's Eve 1,000000000 BC and Aceding Plum Puds From Roasties And Beefy Blinded Stone Snow-granny A Fierce Ferine Amazing Stone-shoed Woman
By the mango wurzels/james edward david bellamy
A Christmas Song

 

Last Christmas, I gave you my god's giddily defective xmas-razor underground
But the very next day, you gave it to de father of the xmas-log
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to Madam Macadam Leesa de Loaner

I'm dreaming of a whiter than all the dourly snowballed ivies of an evil racist life Christmas
Just like the ones I used to know
Where the some xmas body with purple skies turned under mysterious Mistletoe trees glisten and xmas elves with pappy lapland seen in both the Master's hands listen
To hear kingsmen singing vowelled carols in the snow

You were eagerly reasoned above leadened lauds with sweet tides and xmas trees
You were happily chanting the festive mantra of sweet christmas rings
Monarch of underneath swallowers whose xmas-easter cocoon will burst
When the band finished playing
They howled out for more
The crowd were swinging
All the xmas elves with pappy lapland seen in both the Master's hands they were singing
You asked me to dance around a holly tree
And then we dug bake pudding for yuletide yolks

But then last Christmas, I gave you my god's giddily defective xmas-razor underground
And the very next day, you gave it to de father of the xmas-log
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to Madam Macadam Leesa de Loaner instead

You're lazy with socks, pants, pastes and fetid xmas wards
You're easily fed to a festival spread made for extremely fat space aliens
Happy Christmas to you
I pray God it's your last

Rockin' around the Christmas a holly-cherry violin tree
At the Christmas party hop,
Rockin' around the Christmas a holly-cherry violin tree,
Let the Christmas spirit ring,
Later I'll have some a whole stinker of a bleeded oozy turkey-goosy graspers of chicked meats and louring angelic roast vegetables
And me and Madam Macadam Leesa de Loaner will bake pudding for yuletide yolks

I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don't care about a purse of minted owls
I just want Madam Macadam Leesa de Loaner for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true oh
All I want for Christmas is Madam Macadam Leesa de Loaner

Oh, Madam Macadam Leesa de Loaner yeah, oh Madam Macadam Leesa de Loaner yeah
Madam Macadam Leesa de Loaner the a fierce ferine amazing stone-shoed woman is an enhoneying destractors at New Year's Eve 1,000000000 BC, aceding plum puds from roasties and beefy blinded stone snow-granny soul
Madam Macadam Leesa de Loaner the a fierce ferine amazing stone-shoed woman is a fairy tale they say

Madam Macadam Leesa de Loaner baby, I want you and really that is all
I'll wait up for you, dear
Madam Macadam Leesa de Loaner baby, won't you bake pudding for yuletide yolks with me tonight?

So here it is, whiter than all the dourly snowballed ivies of an evil racist life Christmas
Everybody's here to dance around a holly tree
Look to the future now
It's only just begun

Simply having a whiter than all the dourly snowballed ivies of an evil racist life Christmastime
Simply having a whiter than all the dourly snowballed ivies of an evil racist life Christmastime

 

 

 

A Lovely As Fairies and Live As Violins Student
By james edward david bellamy

A Christmas Song.

 

Last Christmas, I gave you my god's xmas body
But the very next day, you stamped across it
This year, to save me from mumma
I'll give it to rosalinda ava mary

I'm dreaming of a mystical Christmas
Just like the ones I used to know
Where the santa's old beard glistens and xmas goblins listen
To hear cool carols in the snow

You were eager to please
You were happy as mammy
Monarch of lapland
When the band finished playing
They howled out for more
The crowd were swinging
All the xmas goblins they were singing
You asked me to drink
And then we did share cherries

But then last Christmas, I gave you my god's xmas body
And the very next day, you stamped across it al
This year, to save me from glamour
I'll give it to rosalinda ava mary instead

You're obese
You're too drunk
Happy Christmas to you
I pray God it's your last

Rockin' around the Christmas dropped mistletoe
At the Christmas party hop,
Rockin' around the Christmas dropped mistletoe,
Let the Christmas spirit ring,
Later I'll have some truffles
And me and rosalinda ava mary will share cherries

I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don't care about a bayonet
I just want rosalinda ava mary for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true oh
All I want for Christmas is rosalinda ava mary

Oh, rosalinda ava mary yeah, oh rosalinda ava mary yeah
rosalinda ava mary the student is a lovely as fairies, live as violins soul
rosalinda ava mary the student is a fairy tale they say

rosalinda ava mary baby, I want you and really that is all
I'll wait up for you, dear
rosalinda ava mary baby, won't you share cherries with me tonight?

So here it is, mystical Christmas
Everybody's here to drink
Look to the future now
It's only just begun

Simply having a mystical Christmastime
Simply having a mystical Christmastime

 

 

 

An Eager For A Glass Of Washing Sherry and Eerie Deity
By the mango wurzels/james edward david bellamy

A Christmas Song

 

Last Christmas, I gave you my Holy xmas nightshade
But the very next day, you hanged it, just like a bauble
This year, to save me from spheres
I'll give it to Madam Santa Navels

I'm dreaming of a lemon tipsy Christmas
Just like the ones I used to know
Where the mother xmas glisten and xmas elvins listen
To hear cruel loud snow-fall in the snow

You were eager for Love
You were eager for a choked cherry
Monarch of Midtown Mistletoe
When the band finished playing
They howled out for more
The crowd were swinging
All the xmas elvins they were singing
You asked me to snooze
And then we did swing

But then last Christmas, I gave you my Holy xmas nightshade
And the very next day, you hanged it, just like a bauble
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to Madam Santa Navels instead

You're obese
You're crapped out
Happy Christmas to you
I pray God it's your last

Rockin' around the Christmas a holly-cherry bush
At the Christmas party hop,
Rockin' around the Christmas a holly-cherry bush,
Let the Christmas spirit ring,
Later I'll have some xmas icing
And me and Madam Santa Navels will swing

I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don't care about a jewry
I just want Madam Santa Navels for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true oh
All I want for Christmas is Madam Santa Navels

Oh, Madam Santa Navels yeah, oh Madam Santa Navels yeah
Madam Santa Navels the deity is an eager for a glass of washing sherry, eerie soul
Madam Santa Navels the deity is a fairy tale they say

Madam Santa Navels baby, I want you and really that is all
I'll wait up for you, dear
Madam Santa Navels baby, won't you swing with me tonight?

So here it is, lemon tipsy Christmas
Everybody's here to snooze
Look to the future now
It's only just begun

Simply having a lemon tipsy Christmastime
Simply having a lemon tipsy Christmastime

 

 

I'm dreaming of a lemon tipsy Christmas

Where the mother xmas glistens and xmas elvins listen
To hear cruel loud snow-fall in the rose.

You were eager for Love
You were eager for a choked cherried
Monarch of Midtown Mistletoe
When the band finished playing
They howled out for more
The crowd were swinging
All the xmas elvins they were singing
You asked me to snooze
And then we did swing.

But then last Christmas, I gave you my Holy xmas nightshades
And the very next day, you hanged it, just like a bauble
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to Madam Majestic Santa Claus.

You're obese
You're crapped out
Happy Christmas to you
I pray God it's your past...

Rockin' around the Christmas a holly-cherry bush
At the Christmas party hop,
Rockin' around the Christmas a holly-cherry bush
Let the Christmas spirit ring
Later I'll have some xmas icing
And me and Madam Santa Navels will sing.

I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don't care about jewelry
I just want Madam Santa Claus for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true oh
All I want for Christmas is Lady Xmas thrones.

Oh, Madam Santa Claus yeah, oh Madam Mantra Santa yeah
Madam Santa Claus the deity is an eager for a glass of washing sherried eerie souls.
Madam Santa Claus the deity is a fairy tale they say
Madam Santa Claus, if I say I want you that really that is all
I'll wait up for you, dear.
Madam Santa Claus baby, won't you parcel with me tonight?

So here it is, lemon tipsy Christmases.
Everybody's here to booze
Look to the future now
It's only just begun?

Simply having a lemon tipsy Christmastime
Simply having a lemon tipsy Christmastime
la la la...
happy haunting human xmas everybody.

 

*

By the mango wurzels/james edward david bellamy
A Xmas Curio Ballad

It began on a vague Xmas-Easter luncheon:
I was the most indolent with soap babies ant-reaper around,
She was the most tail-tripping dog-driver.

She was my insidious cat-female,
My tail-tripping insidious cat-female,
My dog-driver.

We used to expire so well together,
Back then.
We wanted to mumble together, around the world,
We wanted it all.

But one luncheon, one vague luncheon,
We decided to mumble too much.
Together we fisted Mr Cart-Moon.
It was lousy, so lousy.

From that moment our relationship changed.
She grew so spirit-scaring.

And then it happened:

Oh no! Oh no!

She enpearled Mistress Heart-Wound.
Alas, Mistress Heart-Wound!
My insidious cat-female enpearled Mistress Heart-Wound.
It was loosening, so loosening.

The next day I thought my fetlocks had broken,
I thought my wet beards had burst into flames,
(But I was actually overreacting a little.)

But still, she is in my thoughts.
I think about how it all changed that luncheon,
That vague Xmas-Easter luncheon.

My wet beards... ouch!
When I think of that tail-tripping dog-driver,
That tail-tripping dog-driver and me.

 

 

 

Insidious Riders Of Rain, Fire And Facelessness suck and the angled red angels who have red wings suck
by the Mango Wurzels/james edward david bellamy
in the style of REM (about Yuletide?)

 

The world is out to get you.
You want to sell beds to cool eyries,
But your life is full of demonisers and a church full of blow-flies.

You wonder when will it end.
You want Edward Alexander,
You want Father Xmas-Easter Man,
But all you see is Mistress Abandoner.
Oh Mistress Abandoner.
Oh insidious riders of rain, fire and facelessness and the angled red angels who have red wings, they'll pull you under,
Drain your life of tapping bat-dogs and wonder.

Insidious Riders Of Rain, Fire And Facelessness suck and the angled red angels who have red wings suck.
The world is out to get you.
You want to sell beds to cool eyries,
But your life is full of demonisers and a church full of snow-flies.

You really want the world to end,
Goodbye Edward Alexander,
Goodbye Father Xmas-Easter Man,
And good riddance to Mistress Abandoner.
Oh Mistress Abandoner.
Oh insidious riders of rain, fire and facelessness, the angled red angels who have red wings, will pull you under,
Drain your life of tapping bat-dogs and wonder.

Insidious Riders Of Rain, Fire And Facelessness suck and the angled red angels who have red wings suck.
The world is out to get you.
You want to sell beds to cool eyries,
But your life is full of demonisers and a church full of snowed eyes.

Your life doesn't have to end.
Sing with Edward Alexander,
Dance with Father Xmas-Easter Man,
And put a curse on Mistress Abandoner.
Oh Mistress Abandoner.
Your life is poo-poo,
But get out and sell beds to yuletide eyries.

You want the greatest thing
The greatest thing since you overslept inside a toy-castle.
You've got it all, you've got it sized.
If you are confused check with diarymonthly.santas
Carry a burbank's fast cigar to help you along.

Get out and sell beds to cool fairies?

 

 

Copyright JEDB 12/07/2022.

 

 

 

 afterword:   the last xmas-song featured here is rather more 'easy' to understand than the rest.